Sunday, May 10, 2009

dithering and meditation

I have been dithering for days. Slowly working myself into the kind of panicky feeling that vibrates your entire body. Just life, accumulated problems, how things pile up, not enough sleep....all those things that try to gang up on us. I have not experienced this is a very long time.

Meditation practice keeps me grounded in a way that keeps unfounded disaster scenarios from playing over and over in my head. I used to live this way, a roller coaster ride of good and bad times....not over the edge, but sometimes unsettling. For many years now, walking this path has let me enjoy the good times and not get sucked into the bad. This time was very frustrating and I found myself questioning everything, my path, my about letting that negative energy take over.

With some help from Ariel's them....and a sudden awakening of a sense of the ridiculous, life is getting back on track.

I looked at people in the grocery store and watched faces that are stressed, worried, fearful, anxious, rude and wondered how many of them are just having a bad day and how many are living in that state.

Then I came home, sat down for a moment, lit some incense, lit a candle and gave heartfelt thanks to Goddess for kicking me in the ass some time ago.


  1. oh yes my angel- a bad day is just that but a bad life- i cant begin to imagine- me too with the thanking of the Goddess xx

  2. I'm catching up with you after being outta the country for awhile...and I'm wondering, now that a few days has passed since this entry, how are things?

    Because, I'm beginning to suspect for those of us on the path or who are sensitive, that these burbles of chaos aren't coming from inside ourselves, but almost like we're reacting to the rising sense of doom that the populations are feeling.

    Does that make sense? Sorta like we're the litmus paper of the world.

    And, if that's true, I think our work will be to be really vigilent to know when we have our own 'stuff' to deal with, and when we're just being the litmus paper of emotions...

  3. Holly, I have never thought of this, but you may have it right. When things get that chaotic I feel like I am being over run from outside myself, but I have always somehow still felt that my lack of control or lack of feeling grounded was the cause.
    It makes more sense if it is really coming from outside of me and it is just my shields that are not working well.
    The way to get over this has always been to spend some time alone.
    I think I have been fumbling along all my life not really understanding things.

  4. oh, and to answer your question...everything is fine now.

  5. I'm very glad to hear it. Celeste,most of us fumble around in the dark till we can figure out where we are. I hope you know that. Just that some of us have fumbled about longer and so we may seem like we understand it better.

    I'm glad that I may have given you a perspective to consider. One thing I will say is this: I hear you talk on more than one occassion about shielding yourself. And, I'm not a big believer in this form of magick or its ability.

    We can't protect ourselves from anything. We can simply make sure that we are open and prepared for anything that Spirit wants us to experience.

    If one gets to the place where we understand that the entirety of our experiences are crafted for our hightest learning and development, as a frail Human, one will still hope to avoid the hurtful and unpleasant, but as an aware spirit, those things will be welcomed. Because we often learn the most and advance even quicker when we endure and learn great things from the hard times.

    Having said that, as a warrior spirit, which I believe you to be...the peaceful warrior stays open and vigilent...does not put themselves in harm's way. But, realizes that very little can harm them unless they wish it.

    At least, that's how this crone has come to view this world. Let me know your thoughts. And, please know how much I respect your courage and deep curiosity.

    Bright Blessings,