Thursday, April 30, 2009

meditating at work?

I have left the house for the last two days so frazzled that I'm surprised that people are not staring at my head spinning around on my shoulders.
Today while I was doing some mindless manual tasks at work I was listening to my iPod, head still spinning and I decided to listen to a guided meditation and see if that helped at all.
To my surprise I was able to listen to the meditation with about 90% of my focus, keep working and no one disturbed me for the length of the podcast...about 20 minutes.
Not only did it calm me down and let my fried brain recover, but I actually got into the journey. Not completely, but pretty well experiencing and enjoying it.


I may have mentioned that although I deal primarily with the Celtic deities, Bast has been knocking on the door every once in a while. I don't know what to do with her so I have been ignoring her. While I was doing this meditation, suddenly there she was, in the place of the spirit that was being described by the narrator. She was telling me that if I would just listen for once, she could tell me how to deal with my fears that are holding me back. It was a very strong and clear conversation, ok, more like an angry lecture, but it was awesome as well as instructive.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

today...

The podcast 'Why Shamanism Now?' has renewed my commitment to pathworking and dispelled (at least for now) my frustration at the erratic pace.

I am going to miss the new moon circle with my new coven. I have only been participating with this group for a few months and was looking forward to this new moon. I will have to do something special for myself in ritual. I have started incorporating more new moon work into my routine than I used to.

My reports on my astrology class have moved to my Seeker blog. As soon as I can string two coherent sentences together I will write more. I am getting it, it is making sense, but it is still stuck in the intuitive part of my brain and only reluctantly letting the other half of my brain try to verbalize it. This is actually good because I am so analytical that things usually happen in the reverse. I am thrilled to have my intuition speaking up for once and telling the logical side to just shut up for a few minutes.

Monday, April 20, 2009

pathworking

If you are interested in pathworking or journeying I highly recommend a fairly new podcast...Why Shamanism Now? It is available on iTunes.

It started in January and has been a weekly show since. I have only listened to the first three shows but I am enjoying it quite a lot. If it continues to be good I think I will put a permanent link on this blog. I recommend that you start with the first show...each one builds on the last.

If you like the show, please let her know. I think we need more podcasts like this. The website is Last Mask Center for Shamanic Healing

Sunday, April 12, 2009

finding the goddess

There is some discussion around the blogs about the broom closet...in or out (thanks to Pagan Prompts). And earlier in the week a friend and I were talking about the fits and starts of many of us in casting off the old beliefs and embracing the new.
I have been mulling this over a lot; how for many of us our old beliefs are so constricting, long after we try to put them behind us. I wanted to share this poem by Ann Moura with you. I think it says it all.

I talked with thee once, when thou wert a child,
I spoke with thee then, in gentle tones mild.
Ye knew me and loved me and danced in my light;
Why did ye then turn away into the night?

I saw Fear creep in and then steal you away;
I saw the Dark Demons come dampen your play.
I saw how you shook and beseech me for help;
But when I appeared, you with terror did melt.

Who was it that turned you away from my love?
What horror replaced the Light shone from above?
Who told you I'm evil when never I was?
Who took away beauty and washed it in blood?

I never demanded so high an emotion;
That caused you to bleed for any devotion.
I stood by aghast to see where you would tread,
I never deserted but stood by your stead.

And when you did stumble, I held out my hand;
And when you did plead, it was my own command.
I answered you truly each time that you spoke;
And waited with patience until you awoke.

I did not tell you that knowledge was wrong;
Nor say it was evil to sing your own song.
I did not lay down long listings of rules;
Yet all new religions still honor my Yules.

If all of my days are special to others;
Why can't my children act more like they're brothers?
The dictums of priesthoods, by whatever name;
Serve only their leaders for fortune and fame.

Though avarice lies naked before every view;
Their immoral doctrines still full up the pew.
With learning constrained to a pitiful few;
The lessons are curbed lest the teachers they hew.

Keep ye the Sabbats or let them dance by;
I care not a whit if you do not abide.
There never was any but one rule, no guilt;
My guidance: "An it harm none, do what thou wilt."

I never demanded sacrifice of blood;
Never call thee 'sinner' nor gave thee the Flood.
I offered Knowledge and Wisdom for thy life;
But never suggested an eternal strife.

No minions of darkness attacking at night;
No angels, no demons, and no cosmic fight.
My Eternal Dance is of joy and of life;
My Song is of laughter and ending of strife.

So when did it happen? That moment, that spark?
When Knowledge and Reason at last struck their mark?
Though counseled by others to say in the dark;
You strove to gain Wisdom, and learnt with a start-

That all your old longings and feelings were right!
That I am the one whom you've never lost sight;
Together with Uma, Am Glory and Might-
The Song of the Ancients sung morning and night!

With tears and sweet laughter I welcomed you back;
You know that false dogmas no more can attack.
For Wisdom you sought, and there Truth have you found;
The Old God and Goddess with love still abound.

I dance in the Cosmos, I dance in your heart;
We dance now together and never will part.
Thy childhood is over, here starts your next stage;
To bask in the glory of life as my Sage.

Come dance at our Sabbats and sing to the Moon;
Thy Lord and they Lady both welcome thy tune.
We now dance in they heart and fill thee with love;
As it is now below, so it has been above!

Ann Moura